Spotlight: Chris from London

What do you go by?

Chris @cjreeve

Where are you based?

London, UK

How did you get into skirts?

It all started with buying some leggings for a cycling holiday because they were lighter than my usual shorts and trousers. I never used to wear cycling gear and these leggings were not designed for cycling. They were thin, opaque and stretchy. I felt self conscious wearing them, which got me thinking: why is it socially acceptable for women to wear revealing leggings but not men? Those men who wear them down at the gym will usually cover up with some loose fitting "modesty" shorts. Are men so modest? Why the shyness? If they don't want to reveal too much why don't men wear skirts?

Imagine a lightbulb going on above my head. I wanted to see what it was like to wear skirts. If men really want to be modest they can join me in wearing skirts too!

What’s your favourite thing about skirts?

In the beginning I felt apprehensive about going out into public wearing a skirt but overcoming my fears felt exhilarating as endorphins kicked in. This turned into a general feeling of happiness. I felt happy wearing a skirt. I can't say why - it just felt right.

It gave me a sense of freedom and I loved the feeling of wind brushing a skirt about my legs.

But my favourite thing is that no one mocked me or objected. The barriers were all in my head.

Is it hard to find skirts you want to wear?

The first skirts I bought were via the Oxfam online shop. It took a lot of scrolling to find something that I thought could work. Most skirts are fitted for female hips.

I had little idea what I was looking for because the only "everyday" skirt I'd seen on a man years ago was ankle length. I wanted something more practical that didn't look too much like I was dressing up. Something jumped out at me and I wore it to a crowded event. The people I went with said it was just like a kilt - which is not quite the look I was after.

I discovered A-line skirts worked best and I particularly like wearing skater skirts.

They are easy to find second hand on Vinted. It still takes some scrolling to find what I like but I have quite a collection now and few will be returned to a charity shop.

Describe any challenges you’ve faced wearing skirts:

The challenges to wearing a skirt I have found to be all in my head.

I was happy walking around town in a skirt but didn't dare wear them at work. That changed.

I was happy wearing them at work and was reassured this was accepted.

But I didn't feel comfortable going to the barber in a skirt.

That changed.

The list goes on... one step at a time.

The only real challenges are around what to wear with skirts. If it is cold, which leggings or tights go with the skirt and don't make it look like a fetish. You have to consider your shoes more and find T-shirts that match etc. It can get a bit complicated, which makes me appreciate that all my T-shirts I used to wear went with all of my jeans. It helps having an accepting female partner who I can bounce ideas off!

Share a meaningful story about skirts:

Walking back from work a man stopped on his bicycle. Looking back at me he said, "that's great!".

I was a bit baffled and felt like I'd missed something. I took a guess and asked, "what, do you mean the skirt?"

"Not just the skirt", he said. "The whole outfit!". I thanked him and we went our separate ways. That's never happened to me before!

What situations do you wear, or avoid wearing skirts?

There are few situations where I wouldn't wear a skirt now. I'm so used to it now that the considerations are not so much about me, but about my friends. E.g. whether they are ready to introduce me to their friends and family while I'm wearing a skirt. People are not rude to my face but it is clear that the world is not fully ready for me!

In a village where people used to greet me, now particularly the men often don't see me. Not everyone seems to know how to react so they avoid eye contact as is usual in London.

I try and be considerate of that and respect that others may have an opinion as to why it's inappropriate for me to wear skirts. However, I've yet to hear a good reason.

If you could share one thing with the world on skirts, masculinity, or nonconformity, what would it be?

Try it. The fears are all in your head. You won't feel any less masculine and it will only increase your confidence.

Any other thoughts, comments, or aspirations?

Wearing skirts has been a personal journey, but I've also been thinking through the wider picture of why it seems such a big deal - to some. I find the stereotypes between men and women troubling.

Men seem to be under pressure to show off their masculinity and be tough - whatever that means.

You hear about men who try to be controlling over women. You hear about masculine insecurities and how men feel less needed in a modern world. Male suicide rates are increasing. However, as someone who grew up with sisters, no brothers and mostly female friends the differences between how men and women are seem mostly cultural. Yes, we may have detectable differences as small children but our brains are plastic and we (can) change. The stereotypes of what it is to be a man and woman are dictated to us - that make women feel the need to be pretty and men to be tough. I hope for a more equal future in terms of pay and opportunities between men and women. I hope that both men and women don't feel under pressure to fit into stereotypical roles. I see that fashion - the strict set of rules you need to stick with in order to not be seen as an outcast - as part a the problem that needs to change.